saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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