Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
