I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
