Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
