I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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