U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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