no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
pop tarts are not kleenex
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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