talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
