Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
