Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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