I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
