I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
