just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
