Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
