fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
