ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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