I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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