just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
