I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's never too late to be topless.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
