I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
