so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
