Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
