this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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