i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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