Christians are straight up FREAKS
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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