Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
