I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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