real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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