I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
