I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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