Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Barsexuality is the new black.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he fucked my hip out of place.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize