I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I need to calm my uterus...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
