Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
