Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
