You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
