Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
