So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
