I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
