A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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