It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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