the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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