Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
