Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
