remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize