you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ketchup is God's man juice
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
