i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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