; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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