Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize