At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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