Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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