Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
