Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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