oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
