It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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