I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
