You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
