I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
