I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
