...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
