Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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