there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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