you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
