Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think my moral compass just broke
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
