i permit you to call me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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