She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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