this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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