I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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