Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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