Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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