he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
