I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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