I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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