Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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